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Mario Tennis Ultra Smash

We don't need Hawkeye to adjudge Mario's latest tennis outing.

What’s your favourite book of all time? Is it J. D. Salinger’s coming of age classic The Catcher in the Rye? Perhaps it’s Harper Lee’s timeless look at the American deep south during a time of deep rooted tension and prejudice in To Kill a Mockingbird?

Maybe it’s something more modern like Terry Hayes’ excellent thriller I Am Pilgrim, or the gut wrenchingly emotional tale of an ageing author in David Gilbert’s & Sons?

Anyway, when did you last read it? Can you even remember? Can you remember the last time you read that book that you still think about from time to time, smiling to yourself as you recall the range of emotions that it left forever imprinted on your heart. No? Well then. Do you know what I think you should do? I think you should go re-read it. You heard me, go dig it out of that box in the loft. Go up there right now, I don’t care how late it is. Go find it, and bring it back.

Now, play that album that reminds you of your time with it. Play it as softly as you can (preferably through headphones) and put the radiator on. Hell, let’s go nuts here, go and get a blanket. You all comfy? What are we on now, track 2? Oh man, you remember how old you were the last time you heard this? When was it… ’96? How old would you have been… 16! God… 16 years old! How times have changed! Look at you now, a little older sure, but damn… how far you’ve come! Yet this book… this song… it’s like… it’s like time travel. Things were so simple back then. They were good times, you know? They were damn good times.

Oh, sorry to interrupt you whilst you’re reading but you should probably avoid Mario Tennis: Ultra Smash, most people think it’s bare bones and a bit wank. You can check out its Metacritic page if you’re like,  you know, super interested but otherwise I’d just watch this video by yer man Chris Scullion instead as it’s a far more entertaining way to learn more about an distinctly average video game.  

Afterwards, go back to that book. It’s nearly Christmas, afterall. You deserve the break.